Tom popped the big question today to Kelley... I truly wish I was part of it... but in comparison to Breanne, I dunno... such a close call. Sad to say that, I would choose an event like seeing my best friend propose to my other extremely close friend/best female friend, Kelley, over Breanne... but I simple can't help it.
Don't worry, I managed to spit out more than 2 words tonight, actually acknowledging her presence this time around. Still... it was damn near impossible to keep my eyes off her. Even with her man, protecting so close. Am I wrong? If I were him, I would see me as wrong, but as me... I see a completely different view. I see something he probably doesn't see at such a young age. Someone simply amazing. Simply, blowing me away. Someone I could easily imagine myself with until old age.
I know that the fates, are simply teasing me. I know that there's no probable chance in hell I have with her. Pssh... probably not. Big ol round guy like me... I doubt it.
But still... one can wish, that she is thinking about me somehow. Just wondering, where I am... what I'm doing... I wish I knew, if she was thinking about me too.
Work has been exhausting and exhilarating all at once. I'm learning a lot and reconfirming what I already know. I'm striving to find time for Pizza hut, though I won't lie that finding the time to fit them in, is damn near impossible. I'll do the best I can though. To balance the two... though Christiana Pub is definitely unloading hours onto me, I cannot complain one bit. And it's not as if this is new to me. I'm fully aware what I will be stepping into.
Still... as I work... as I breathe... I think about Breanne. I shouldn't... but I do. I dream about her, I think about her at work... when I will see her, when we we'll exchange words... when will I be able to one day tell her, the cloudiness that she's created in my heart and mind.
It's going to be awesome. I guess. Just glad to get it out and be honest, though I have no idea, when the right time is. Or if she'd ever go for some big loaf like me.
*shrugs*
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