I'm John. I'm 32, soon to be 33. I am in a place in life that I am slowly accepting as my world. I have 2 children who live very far away and my life is slowly falling back into place.
Tonight, I went on a pre-date. Though it felt more like a date, which wasn't the kind of date that I had hoped for. The woman I met was Kathleen. Amazing smart, intelligent, beautiful and has kept me until tonight, when it became a realization that I am not the "sparks" guy.
Kathleen gave me conversation that I couldn't have expected. She gave me letters that I've only hoped for. It kept me engaged and thinking and progressing to the next step, which never came. Her idea was to have a pre-date... which only led to a "let's be friends"... which I've heard before.
I'm not sure why life has chosen the paths, that it's presented before me. Why my relationship with my childrens mother ended abruptly and I had to say goodbye to my best friend as I watched her get pregnant and marry another. Why, I've taken this road to dating. Why the mistakes and changes in my life have pushed me into the path I am on today. I question it daily and still I know that, that is the problem. Questioning constantly my fate.
I know who I am. I'm a sexual man, with desire, aspirations,
